LINE Store

Away from life's seriousness and all the thoughts and questions in need of answers, I have finally gained the approval of LINE to start selling my stickers. Even though drawing is now officially a hobby and not a purpose, I still want to cultivate it; to push further into bettering it. For that, I'm feeling a bit of satisfaction now, for I not only made a short comic, but I also managed to sell my stickers.
     I only hope that my passion for writing never collides with my enjoyment in drawing, because surely, both have helped me tremendously. That said, I'll always remember my beginnings!

My first set of stickers!

The set's contents.

Was it Faith?

With every passing day, I become more convinced of this world's inconsistency, and I start to wonder; "Is God really that bored and unorganized?" Truth be told, I even think God has quite the complexities. In so many ways, I see the lack of the so-called perfection that people usually attach to his almighty essence. That, of course, pushed me further into the Unknown.

Before I begin, I have to explain that I, in no way, am insulting people's religions, or Gods. I am merely expressing my opinions on the concept of such a thing like God.

     This concept of a higher being as our perfect creator, whom guidance we all seek, is a bit weak for me, and I shall explain and express all of my troubles through the upcoming blogs...
     First things first, how did we come into existence? We can go back to Adam and Eve, but eventually, we'll arrive at God's feet, and so, he's our creator. However, how do we know that God didn't come out of something as well? Surely, neither us nor him are mere coincidences in this world... certainly, we're not just a miscalculation of the chosen population.

     That being said, why then are we here? We can't be the result of a coincidence, because logically, everything has a cause. Moreover, who is to answer such big questions like these? Who or what is that which holds the unmistakable truth? Are we meant to follow priests and reverends? Are we to read the Quran, the Bible, or is it the Torah? Who is to tell where the Real resides? Isn't that meant to be subjective after all?
     Therefore, isn't the concept of God meant to be different from one to the other, which in itself would create a plentiful of Gods; the Greek Gods for example were, at some point, believed in. In fact, I, too, believe in multiple Gods, for certainly, a merciful one wouldn't bear take away a child from his parents, nor a loving parent away from his children.

     In the end of the day, we are all different, and I'd like to believe that even in the Godly realm there exists a fine line between good and bad.

Individuality

Everyone cares, ultimately, about themselves. It must be, after all, the way of life. It's not selfish, it's just a matter of priorities. In the end, it is your life that will change and be altered, and it is you that will suffer the consequences of your decisions. Beware of your own self, because even love can be just a method for some to feel better about themselves.

To further elaborate, here's a poem I wrote about Esteban Trueba from Allende's novel; "The House of the Spirits".

Beyond Betrayal

My one and only Rosa died,

This world she left in a blink of an eye,

As something so low; as a political bride…

By a poisonous brandy, she was beguiled—

Therefore, here I am, numbed by pain,

Wishing her death to be nothing but a game.

A mermaid she now resembles with her green hair,

And her body remains as delicate as her name.

Oh, I can never forget her beautiful demeanor,

As I watched her for the first time — charmed!

I knew ever since; without her touch, I will not live,

Without her body next to mine, Esteban Trueba will not rest!

For that, I have decided to leave for work.

Oh, I have bled for her sake —her position—

Like a little boy, I hoped to stumble upon gold,

To be one of them, to be with her, for I’m proud.

No, pride is not a sin, but a path to win,

To win respect, power, and to quench my thirst.

I will not be that boy wrapped in paper and filth!

Such shameful memories of poverty will cease to exist.

And now that there is no Rosa in my world,

I desire nothing as much as an escape route.

And so in Tres Marias, I thought my fate awaits.

I set foot and took charge in that barren land;

Transforming it into a place of servants and wealth,

To outlive the past of my father and those who came within…

Then came a night, when my body ached with lust,

And I realized the Del Valle ghost haunts me still.

So I went to those in puberty, and took their chastity away,

In their darkened eyes, I saw accusations of infinite rape.

Despite all, I was and will always remain their good patrón,

For everything I’ve done helped them cope.

Now I stand before my beginning and wonder…

My love betrayed me, so to her sister I turn — will she suffice?

Home

It's incredible how everything becomes natural at home -- feelings, people, and even the surroundings... all flows as natural as water. I have visited home a couple of days ago, and I realized how it brings me closure, for it is the essence of all my childhood memories -- memories of innocent and mundane days that now seem like a blessing.
     Being there took me back to those years when we were all alive, even though oblivious, and it made me realize that I have appreciated my surroundings because it was close to home, and I'm missing it daily...

The view from the rooftop.

      The picture of the marshmallow-looking clouds proved to me that a single look at the sky, in a familiar place, would ease all my burdens. However, it all made me wonder; "Wouldn't he have loved to tend his birds with the company of such a lovely sky?"

External VS. Internal

I have realized something yesterday, and that was the concept of the self and the other; my internal world versus what surrounds me.
     In the middle of the day, I caught myself humming... I was so happy, yet I couldn't understand why, for I've always known myself to be gloomy and grumpy. Then it hit me; my mentality was different -- I have removed all of the day's obstacles and did my best to win over them. It wasn't that the day was light, nor was it because I had no disturbances, but it was about my own mindset -- I was able to see the beauty in every simplicity. Even though I've somehow altered it unconsciously, I still had that effect which made me stop and think whether I fell in love with someone or not. After all, wasn't that how love-stricken people were portrayed in the movies we so often watched?

     However, I concluded, by the end, that it was never a matter of mindset, at least to me, because I've always been triggered by the external forces -- our 'oh so beloved' society. In the end, I've seen my humming transform into annoyed syllables, for society had always drained me. The self can only go as far as your capabilities, whereas the other unite all together to stomp on your most exciting days. Finally, leaving you with the memories of your friends, families, and loved ones.

That One Man

July finally came, and June no longer remains. It's funny how painful the days of June were, as painful as those of May, but oh I have been trying to cope with the fact that you are no longer here. I'm well aware that you're living the adventures you sought after, and I'm quite sure of your well-being, but I just came to realize how it pains me now to read all the poems I have written for you, and I wonder... Will you still remember us?

     I often fear to forget your voice as I have forgotten his.

Father Figure

You got me feeling so proud,

For greatness, I have vowed.

O, west wind, how delightful,

Warming smile, so wonderful.

Your vibe shook with darkness,

Truly, you're beyond madness.

A wind so great and forceful,

In disguise, a man so playful.

I saw you among the crowd,

Without doubt, you're proud.